The Pitfalls of Hooking Up on Halloween

I once read somewhere that Halloween is the second most popular holiday for hooking up, right after New Year’s Eve. This fact is not surprising. Something about dressing up in crazy costumes brings out the wild frat boy in everyone. It’s the one night a year where even the most mild-mannered librarian dresses like a tramp and no one raises an eyebrow.
 

 
But all this carefree, booze- and wig-fueled celebration doesn’t come without its perils. Check out our guide to the Pitfalls of Hooking Up on Halloween.
 

Weirdos Hitting On You

 

 
The freaks come out at night — and on Halloween. People get emboldened by their own costumes. Maybe it’s because it makes you feel a little anonymous, and of course, dressing-up usually goes hand-in-hand with copious amounts of alcohol. Ladies, your costume provides all these newly-aggressive guys with the perfect opening lines. But all the normal rules go out the window: if you’re already talking to a guy, this will only attract more guys. (Strange but true.) Sometimes, this can be fun. Sometimes, it can ruin your game. And if you’re at a bar with the general public, there’s a high chance many of these suitors will be giant weirdos. Which leads us to our second pitfall…
 

Costume Goggles

 

 
Have you ever crushed on some slick-looking local police officer, only to one day spot him eating a slice of pizza in plainclothes and realize he’s totally not attractive at all? Costume goggles works the same way. Sometimes the costume just makes someone a lot more attractive. There’s nothing wrong with this per se, it just gets kinda awkward if you exchange numbers with a macho caveman only to go out later with a dorky tech support guy. Or if sexy Catwoman walks you to the door the next morning dressed in her Care Bears nightgown. Keep your expectations low for the morning after.
 

Getting Fake Blood All Over Your Face

 
…is gross.

 

Making Out with Someone for Costume-based Reasons

 
“Hey, Superwoman, I’m Superman!”
“OMG! We’re both dressed as vampires! Let’s suck each other’s blood or something!”
“Whoa, look, you’re dressed as Fred Flinstone and I’m Pocahontas, and like, we’re both barefoot, can you believe it?”
 
It sucks to feel pressured to hook-up with someone just because what they’re wearing will look good in your Facebook photos.
 

Gender Confusion

 

 
Girls dressed as guys and guys dressed as…pink aliens. Everything gets thrown into confusion on Halloween. As long you’re okay with not letting a make-out sesh with someone of indeterminate gender throw you into major sexual orientation confusion, then all the mixing and matching can be a lot of fun. Homophobes beware though: that supermodel in in the bustier is probably a dude.
 

Grinding with Smurfs

…will get blue paint all over your ass.
 

 

Referring to Your Hook-up as “Harry Potter”

 

 
“Hey, um, is this Harry Potter from last night? It’s Little Bo Peep. I think I lost my sheep–I mean, my earrings.”
 
It just sounds wrong.
 

Doing the Walk of Shame in Your Costume

 
Ah, the walk of shame — in pasties and pompoms.
 

 
You wake up, bleary-eyed, mumble a “good morning” to your vaguely familiar-looking bedmate (you could’ve sworn she was a redhead last night!), scramble for your clothes…only to find nothing but a long, spangled wizard’s robe lying on the floor. That’s going to be a long freaking walk home. The pleasures of the flesh are fleeting; indignity lasts a lifetime.
 
 
Halloween is definitely a great night for hooking up, just be aware of its hidden dangers. And never, ever hook-up with a zombie.
 

 
I’ve heard they’re really boring in bed.
 
Got any other tips for hooking up on Halloween? Halloween hook-up horror stories? Let us know in the comments.