Meeting New People Online

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography

Wasn’t everything so much easier when you were a kid? Sure, you had to go to school and learn useless stuff like math, you had almost no independence, and no control over the basics of your life, like food, hygiene or sleep. But the trade off was that things were ridiculously easy. You didn’t have to work at a soul crushing job, the fridge would always magically fill itself up, there would always be a roof over your head, and, maybe best of all, not once did you ever have to make a conscious effort to make friends. When I was a kid, I don’t even remember how I made my friends. We were in the same class and it was just natural. I never thought about it. I certainly didn’t think about how making friends wouldn’t always be this easy.

What do you do when you’re an adult and find yourself wanting to meet someone? There’s no guidebook on how to make friends as an adult. Once you’re out of school you lose that forced socialization. There’s work, but that’s a small pool of people to choose from. And what about finding a romantic relationship? What about the bar scene isn’t humiliating and often regrettable? It’s funny to think that not too long ago you had very few options. Thanks to the internet, no one ever has to be alone again.

Dating sites are a God send. Before the internet, unless your friends happened to know your soul mate and future spouse, the options weren’t great. Has anyone fallen into a serious relationship at a bar or club? A lot of things have happened to me while I was out drinking. Some of them were amazing, some of them I’ve purposely blocked from my memory, none of them were the beginning of something special with someone special. I gave up on that delusion long ago. I’ve seen the wonder of dating sites. My personal favorite is Plenty of Fish. From the comfort of your home you get to check out profiles and connect with people. You get to meet people you might be interested in while sober and taking it at your own pace. I haven’t met my soul mate on a dating site yet, but I have made far more meaningful connections than I ever did over a shot of tequila.

Of course, that’s all well and good for people who want a boyfriend or girlfriend. But when you get back to the original problem, making friends without the luxury of recess, a dating site is a roundabout way to do it. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t easy ways to make friends online. The most obvious one would be facebook. That seems kind of dumb at first glance, doesn’t it? The only people you interact with on facebook are already your friends. But are they really? Go through your friends list and try to remember how many of these people you’ve actually interacted with in real life lately. Now figure out how many you would want to actually interact with and how many might want to interact with you. I guarantee you could find a few “friends” to turn into friends.

Alright, maybe facebook isn’t going to work, since you hate everyone on your contact list and they hate you. So where do you turn to now? Literally anywhere. Google “connect with people” or “make friends,” and you’ll have more choices than you know what to do with. It may take a little work, as building a meaningful relationship always does, but it will happen. Just be yourself, be honest, try to be interesting and it will happen. Soon enough it will be like you were a kid and you’ve forgotten how your friends slid so easily into your life.