The Strangest Facebook Pages

Image: “Evil gnome” by stevie.gill

Remember in the Betty White article I said that if you have an interest in something, there are probably others out there who have a similar interest? You might have not believed me, thinking: “Well, sure, Betty White is a national treasure, it’s no surprise so many people are interested in her. Nobody could ever understand my paranoid relationship with lawn gnomes.” You’d be wrong. It’s the internet! No matter how strange it is, there’s a Facebook page for it.

Below are some of the strangest Facebook pages I could find:

1) I Hate It When My Home Is Raided By Homicidal Lawn Gnomes At 3 AM

We all hate Garden Gnomes. There just plain creepy. But this page takes it further by insisting that Garden Gnomes are merciless forces of evil set upon this earth as the scourge of humanity. Keep in mind that there are nearly 5,000 members to this group. That’s like a small town getting together to discuss gnomes. There is a lively debate on the page about which kind of Garden Gnome is worse: the homicidal ones that drag your children off in the middle of the night, or the suicidal ones that place themselves behind your car and ruin your perfectly good tires. I vote for the annoying ones that appear in travel agency commercials.

2) Grass

When I say grass, I’m not talking about the drug you used to smoke in your friend’s basement before freaking out that his parents will smell it. I talking about plain old grass. The stuff that grows everywhere. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conscious thought about grass before, except “Oh my God, I have to cut it again!” But these people really love it. From their info page: “This is a Facebook group dedicated to the preservation of grass and it’s right to grace the soil of this earth. And also, we really like to talk about it and how awesome it is.” They are even pushing “Grass Day” a type of holiday to celebrate the green miracle. That may seem weird, but so does Arbour Day. The membership for this page is off the charts, with over 21,000 fans. We’ve gone from a small town getting together to talk about malevolent gnomes, to a small city getting together to talk about grass.

3) Spencer Pratt

God, probably by mentioning his name I’m summoning him to the comment section. Alright, everyone get out their wooden stakes. If you don’t know who Spencer Pratt is, congratulations, you’ve lead a better existence than most. He’s a fame whore, an obnoxious one at that. His point is…well, I’m not sure what he thinks his point is, but for the rest of the world, it’s to be someone to hate. And we all really, really hate him. Hitler’s grandchildren have a better reputation. So what’s so strange about him having a Facebook page? It’s the fact that his Facebook page is a fan page. Around 80,000 people, all thinking Spencer Pratt is the man. It just does to show you, if you have an opinion on something, even if it’s plain wrong, other people share it.

4) I Need To Sneeze (Pull Strange Looking Face) It’s Gone

After the last page, to reaffirm my belief in humanity, I vowed to find a page more pointless than Spencer Pratt with more fans. And I did! Not sneezing! Isn’t it…great? Over 83,000 people enjoy the act of not sneezing so much they decided to share it with their friends and family. I’m not sure how much you can talk about not sneezing. I’m writing an article about it and I’m quickly running out of ideas. Although, it does seem kind of unfair that grass, a vital part of our ecosystem, only gets a quarter of fans that not sneezing does.

5) I Thought It Was Funny Until Someone I Hate Laughed At It

Welcome to the bottom of the barrel my friends. We’ve officially entered the abstract section of Facebook pages. What does this one even mean? Is this some kind of common phenomenon in socializing that I’m not aware of? It must be because over 300,000 people have joined. Have I been walking through the human experience with only the faintest grasp of the emotions of people around me? I’m going to say no, since most of the conversation on its wall seems to be about music and what words “ass” is apart of.

6) I Read The Group Name, I Laugh, I Join, I Never Look At It Again

That just really says it all, doesn’t it? In fact, I like this group page so much, I just might join it.

I’ve certainly missed some pretty strange Facebook pages. Comment below and tell me what was the strangest group you’ve ever seen